He went to bed really early most days because of work and woke up at "silly o'clock" every morning. So I shared a room with him for all of a week when we got back from our trip and I moved into the basement. It took us one afternoon to clean it all out and I was able to make a nice set up with what I had...which was a bed, a couch, a shelf and some weights. None of which were actually "mine" but hand me downs and things we found.
Matt was roomming with 2 Scottish people, they both had "real jobs" and I don't think truly understood what Matt and I were doing with our lives. That's okay I guess because I never truly understood what they were saying most of the time. My ears became more adept to their "mother tongue", the longer I lived there...well, it did with the guy, Jamie...the girl, to be fair, I just smiled and nodded a lot. Which I feel like I have perfected the art of the "smile and nod" with the female gender, it gets me out of most uncomfortable conversations and unpleasantness.
Always a little tricky when the lady asks a question that awaits an answer...but how often does that ever happen!?
They were really nice though and didn't have to let me live there. Matt kind of just threw me at them because well, I kind of just threw myself across the pond to New Zealand. So I spent most of my time at the house trying to keep quite and not step on anyone's toes...which I feel like I did a pretty good job of for the most part.
It helped living in the basement I think. They were all early to bed, early to rise types and depending on what job I worked I would get home anytime between 12-2:30am. The only negative part of living in the basement, was the dreaded walk to and from the shower. Oh, sweet baby jesus...so cold.
Matt convinced me to come over to New Zealand with talk of a glorious summer! "It's warm here, the seasons are backwards, so it's summer now" he told me. Have I mentioned that Matt is a liar? Have I mentioned that Matt is an asshole? I should probably mention those two things.
It was still winter when I arrived, Matt would tell you it was the start of spring...but you, the reader, should refer to the previous paragraph. I went from sleeping naked in the states (cause that's what I do and I know you wanted to hear that) to sleeping completely clothed in New Zealand. I'm talking socks, full pants, shirt, sweatshirt, beanie hat, with a sheet, a blanket and a sleeping bag. It was not warm at all.
New Zealand houses have no insulation and I was living in a basement, you do the math.
I was still very much jet lagged, so I had odd sleeping patterns. Not that I've ever had normal sleeping patterns but I generally like to be asleep at 5am if I'm not doing something else...more...productive.
Jamie gave me a website that he used to watch his soccer games from Scotland. So I would try to stream in the Carolina Panther football games before work. Monday morning at 5am, roughly is around Sunday, 1pm in the states.
It was always a little weird coming home from work and catching a quarter of "Monday Night Football", in the middle of the afternoon during my break between jobs. They showed the big games on TV, which also surprised me. The internet streaming however was like pulling teeth. American football is NOT something you want to be streaming from a great distance, there would be a pause every few seconds and usually something big would happen and it would skip right to a commercial. I'm a diehard though and this was my fix, all I had really. New Zealand has not figured out the wonders of the internet yet. It's 1984 over there...and they like it.
Me, Apple and her friend |
When Matt and I would hang out, we would usually go and find his co-worker Ceasar and his roommate Skip. That didn't happen nearly as often, but it was always a good time when it did. That was basically my whole time over in a nutshell. Lots of good times but a lot of the same activities. I would work, workout in between jobs, and drink with my new friends. That was what I did, not too far of a stretch from what I usually did in America.
I knew my role and what the future held for me. The key was discipline, working and having the cheapest fun available. The only disheartening thing was the horror stories I had heard about Kiwi Halloween. I came to New Zealand at the beginning of September went on a road trip for a few weeks and then it began to approach the time of All Hallows Eve. Which coincidentally happens to be my favorite holiday.
Yay Halloween! |
On October 31st in the states, a girl would look at another girl in a cop outfit with her butt/boobs hanging out, walk up to her and say, "Awww you look so cute, where did you get your outfit?".
On November 5th, those same 2 girls would have no interaction what so ever and it would be, "Look at that tramp in those shorts, what a slut!".
What I'm trying to say here is it's a MARVELLOUS time of the year! It shouldn't be relegated to one day a year, I could not believe my ears.
My only hope they said, was to go to Auckland and try to find a rave of some sort. This was no help, but from what I understood it was my only hope and I planned on doing that at all cost!
Halloween!!! IT'S WHAT I DO! |
Luckily for me, I didn't have to venture out alone on Halloween, Matt got off of work and I requested off because I dress up and get drunk that week/weekend...every year...it's my other birthday, whether people are with me or not.
I like to form my own costume's as well. I hate showing up to a party where there's the same "Austin Powers" or "Scooby-Doo" costume everywhere. Get creative people! My plan all along was to go as "Thor", my friend Lauren in Texas suggested that to me and it stuck. Whatever my hair looks like around that time, I generally try to morph into whatever character I portray. When you want to look like Vanilla Ice, you have to do these things...like shave weird lines in your actual hair:
However, my money was low and my resources were even lower. So "Thor" became a pipe dream (FOR THIS YEAR IN 2012!!!). So I had to go with what was available. I went all through the town looking for anything that I could construct into some sort of costume. The town was barren. They told me they didn't celebrate Halloween but this was ridiculous.
"Happy-Slap" was born |
Matt decided he was going to do his usual "be as naked as possible, no matter how cold it is" outfit dynamic....last year's "Caveman" turned into this years "Greek God"...next year, he'll probably be a "Spartan" or something less clothed...the kid just likes to rock banana hammocks and loin cloths...what can I say?
After a bit of creative genius on my part I decided that the best thing for me to do was to take this cow "costume" (costume is in quotations because you can clearly see in the picture below that this was a woman's pajama onesy) and turn it into the proudest, powerful, and most obnoxious cow I could imagine....that's how I became AMERICOW!
AMERICOW by night!!! |
Mild mannered, civilian cow by day... |
I don't think I have to tell you that this was a BIG HIT. I walked into the party where everyone knew who I was right away. Well, they didn't really know who I was so much as they saw the American flag on my back and started screaming "Team America"'s theme song at me every 10 minutes, "Americaaaaa....FUCK YEAH!". Either way, that made me happy.
It was a Halloween/birthday party, so I'm not exactly letting New Zealand off the hook for good Halloween parties just yet because I'm not so sure the party would have been as great if it weren't for the birthday aspect of it. However, everyone participated and dressed up, so it was all in good fun.
Matt and I explained the American "red-cup" style Halloween parties we used to throw back in college and tried to implement some of the games at this party, i.e., flip-cup, beer-pong, etc. They turned out well, everyone was a fan from what I could tell.
Shortly after many precarious drinking games, I lose sight of my buddy Matthew. I found out he had scampered down to the beach with a Mario Brother. Mario to be exact....I had no interest in the Luigi part of the equation from earlier in the night...all I'll say is, "Luigi" should have been the "Mario" in their duo, if you catch my drift...and if you don't...well then you didn't play Super Mario Brothers.
I can't divulge too much information on that situation, a bit of a bro code of conduct. However, it must be said that her Mario moustache was kept on through any and most all proceedings (sorry buddy...but that's friggin' funny!).
I had a few awesomely lame quips with the ladies myself that night, of that I'm sure. I know they must have been lame because I went home alone. It's a tough transition but there comes a point in the night when I tend to drink myself into a stupor where I lose the ability to control what comes out of my mouth. Or at least, I lose the ability to care about the ramifications. Whatever I'm thinking, I say, easy and simple.
Not to toot my own horn (toot toot!) but this works out in my favor more than you would think for the amount of sewage that I can put on display between the hours of 12-5am (mainly because "more than you would think" should equal 0). Usually to my surprise because most of the time I'm obviously not trying to impress the anyone, just attempting to amuse myself....this was one of those nights, not of the successful nature however.
The next night, a bit more of the same. We pre-game at the place Cesar was housesitting, we invited some friends over and played drinking games. The second night we were supposedly heading to the "big party". A zombie party being held at some sort of club.
We arrive and it's absolutely mobbed with people. All covered in blood. Apparently they had created some sort of blood in a tank that people could just throw, dip, drip and spit on whoever came in. It was carnage really. I lose my group for about 15 minutes, when I find them, they're all covered in this awful sticky red substance.
I wish I had a picture from this party to demonstrate my point. It's a zombie party, so no matter what your costume, you're covered in blood. You could be a doctor, lawyer, spice girl, didn't matter, you were "zombified" from the moment you walked in.
The reason I wish I had a picture is because miraculously, I don't get a drop on me the whole night! One bright, white, cuddly cow costume with an American flag draped on my back. I was expecting to be hung out to dry. I'm the cutest thing there, you would be able to spot me from a helicopter in that crowd of red.
I enjoyed both parties, the first party a little more because the people were a bit friendlier, the booze was free, and I got to make fun of Matt for almost hooking up with an almost dude (a girl with a moustache is kind of a dude right?).
In retrospect, I probably would have spent more time going to the city and pubs around Auckland if I had not been so broke and trying to save money, but I enjoyed my time in New Zealand mainly because of all the awesome people I met. I think that's what it's all about. I wouldn't change it either.
Halloween 2011 was also well spent, another successful year in the books. Matt and I calculated that we have actually spent the past 6 Halloweens together. Not sure we'll be able to make it to 10 since we split ways, but it's always a good time....or at the least a good laugh or 2.
The bush is saving your eyes right now, I assure you |
Maybe you didn't need to know that it was a "woman's onesy".... |
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