You "Shark Pit", Me "Vana"

"Downtown" Lahaina

Jackie lives in the west side of Maui in a small town named Lahanai.  Front Street is the main road in the town, a 2 minute walk to the downtown area (if you can call it that) and an even shorter trip to the beach (right across the road).  I’d have to say it seems as if she’s hit the jackpot in location.

I woke up early Saturday morning to go for a run.  As I like to do when I’m in a new area and get acclimated to my surroundings.  Not as early as Jackie though, she’s a bit of an early bird.  Jackie and her boyfriend wanted to go surfing on the north shore.

I wasn't too interested in that prospect for a few reasons.  I hadn't gotten very good sleep in the past 2 nights because of Halloween and camping out (which wasn't bad but when that sun comes up you’re like an egg, boiling in your own tent).  So I wanted to get a good nights rest under a roof, on a reasonably comfortable surface (her couch).

I ran around the town and checked everything out.  It’s more of a village really.  I’m beginning to think that Maui is more for couples on retreat and honeymooners with the clientele that I kept passing.  Which is cool, couples are people too I guess....  

I tried to make it back around lunchtime to meet Jackie for lunch but she wasn't back yet.  So I grabbed my towel and my book and went straight to the beach.  Right in front of Jackie’s house is the most quite spot I've ever seen on a plateau including sand and water.  Nobody goes there.  I was laying out for at least two or three hours with maybe three other people stretched along the sand.  The same three or four people everyday.  It's like some sort of secret cove for the locals.  

There were possibly 20 people walking at different times all together and that was mainly dog walkers.  It was really peaceful and nice. 

I stayed for a little bit, working on my boss tanline and it just so happened that I ran into Jackie on the path back to her house, she was coming to find me and also to check the waves.  If I had to guess, more the latter than the former, you know how those surfers are about their waves.

She decided the waves were good enough to give it a go, so we went back and grabbed the long-boards.

I can only surf on long-boards, as my past surfing adventures have described.  So I was excited to get out there.  FINALLY something I would succeed at!  I've only had short-boards and devastation (because of all the falling) available to me in the past few months, so it was nice to have a chance to finally do some proper surfing.

TANLINE!

Then I started talking to Jackie.  She began to give me the tips and tricks of surfing out in front of her house, affectionately named the “Shark Pit”.  Great….

That’s where every surfer in his beginning stages of expertise wants to be right?  The f’n "Shark Pit"…

She also asks me how I feel about surfing in shallow water over coral.

You want me to do what with who?

I know people surf over coral, from what I understand those are some of the best spots to do it.  But shallow water…over coral?  In a habitat sanctuary for sharks?  Why?  Why would you want to do that?  Ever?

I had every chance to back out of it, so I can’t exactly blame Jackie (although I like to try).  She was just too excited to notice that I wasn’t really comfortable with the situation.  She really loves surfing out there and I didn’t want to let her down, so I went anyways, against my better judgement...like I ALWAYS do.

She did ask me how I felt about surfing out there, I told her that it was “questionable”, when what I should have said was…”absolutely not, no way, no how!” to quote a certain guardsman in the land of OZ.

I heard “questionable” as…”maybe this is a bad idea and you should take me to a place without shallow coral”….Jackie heard “questionable” as, “Yea let’s go!”.

We were obviously not on the same page.  She started telling me about all the things you HAVE TO DO to stay safe surfing in “Shark Pit”.  All I’m thinking is, “Dude, I’ve stood up on a board like 8 times…PERIOD.  This is going to suck."

And it did.  It SOOOOO did. 

Paddling out was easy enough, until we got to the pit itself and since the water in Hawaii is clear to the bottom I could see absolutely everything that had a chance of ending me in that water.  

I'm grown accustomed to my skin and my bones for that matter...I generally like to keep them as is, intact and away from areas such as these.  There was nowhere to go, no safe zones.  All the things Jackie told me to do immediately became obsolete because I decided she was just full of shit.

But I already came out, so I figured as long as I got up, it couldn’t be too bad.  I just couldn’t fall.  Easy enough right?

Yet another thing you don’t want to consider when just starting out.  I’ve been surfing in different countries true, the total of those surfing expeditions: 5; 

successful surfing expeditions (as in, times I’ve went out and stood up and had a decent time instead of the waves just kicking my head in): 2.  

Stats aren’t looking too good for me in the ol’”Shark Pit”.

I was screwed…and I knew it too but it was like a moth to a flame and too late to put my tail between my legs. 

I finally decided to just try it.  I got a wave and stood up.  I’m really excited about this because I don’t think I’ve ever stood up on my very first try but that excitement immediately rots into fear and panic because as I’m looking at water, as I noticed before, there was NOWHERE to go. 

There was nowhere to get off the board and be safe, it was ALL coral reef.  I panicked and jumped off into a spot that I thought looked deeper than the others.  What I found out at the bottom was the reason it looked deeper was because it was inhabited by a bunch of black Sea Urchins.

So that's how I got Vana.  Which is Hawaiian Sea Urchin’s semi-poisonous spikes that get lodged in your foot like little shards of glass.  

It's like Poseidon decided to be "Jigsaw" from the "Saw" movies came to me in the water and said in that creepy voice, "Hello Adam, I want to play a game".  

My choices were as follows: jump off the board and get struck in the foot, jump off the board and crack your head open, or jump off the board and break an appendage.

I think I chose the lesser of the three evils, doesn't make Jigsaw any less of a jerk.

I was getting tossed around by the rest of the set of waves, with nowhere to go…AGAIN. All I can think about is how bad this sucks and how mad I am at myself because I knew it was going to suck and I still did it.  I never follow my gut feeling on these things and I always get burned…or stung…or pinched…or something dumb that I could have easily avoided, like f***** Vana!

The worst part was that I went in too far (which was also another one of Jackie's precarious warnings).  So then I got stuck on the reef.  Literally stuck because I was trying to paddle out of the way to safety (out of the water really) and the board kept getting marooned on top of the coral and then wave after wave kept to coming to finish me off. 

I finally made my way out of it.  Luckily there weren't any other surfers around because it could have been even worse...for them, I felt like a fat seal on my way to a shark's mouth.  I probably looked like a fat seal at least...thrashing about on top of my board desperately trying to get off the coral reef.  I then proceeded to find the channel of calm water and pick out the spikes (8-12) sticking out of my right foot. 

Honolua Bay, NOT where I was surfing

I went to talk to Jackie and I told her I was done.  After one wave, wooohoooo, Kelly Slater eat your heart out!

I left her to grab some more waves and I went to the beach to check out my newest foot injury.  Over half the days I’ve been in Hawaii something bad or painful has happened to my feet....Jackie Dressler is responsible for two of those injuries (as I like to affectionately remind her).

She told me that I should move here and get a job so I think she is secretly sabotaging my vacation.  I mean, between the hiking barefoot and stabbing me with coral, she’s a crafty lass!  

Surfers lined up from all over for Honolua

If I can’t walk, I can’t leave so I have to stay right?  I think that’s her plan, but I’m on to her!!!

I hobbled my way back to her house which as I stated earlier is not very far, so I considered that lucky.  All of the spikes were located in my toes, all of the toes of my right foot but at least it wasn’t the bottom of the foot. 

It's not a constant pain, only every time you step on it...aka walk...so it can be constant because I've heard that walking is occasionally important.  I could at least manage if I held my toes up.

We got back and told her roommates what happened.  I immediately grabbed a glass and start drinking whiskey because somewhere in my man DNA my brain registered that is the protocol when dealing with an injury.

Or maybe I’ve seen too many westerns and war movies.  All I know is, you drink whiskey, things get better, or at least, more numb which in my book translates to better.

While having a drink on the porch with the roommates and making plans for the evening, one of Jackie’s roommate’s friends stopped by.  He too, was named Adam and had been living there for a long time.  He explained everything to me a little better so I knew what I was dealing with.  As most "Adam's" as I'm sure you know, are geniuses.

I had never heard of Vana, so I was obviously concerned with my foot for the near and foreseeable future.  Not that I thought it was going to that serious to the point of amputation or something but I was worried about being able to walk around comfortably and go running in the near future.

Adam turned out to be a medicine man of sorts.  He hopped on his bike and went back to his house and grabbed me a mixture of vinegar's that were a good remedy to soak the Vana in.  He told me I should have peed on it, but A) I didn’t have to pee when it happened and B) the idea of peeing on the bottom of my foot from the top of a surf board seemed a bit silly...and borderline impossible.

The idea of the vinegar is it is supposed to break up and dissolve the urchin shards it into my bloodstream quicker (sounds like a fun picnic, doesn't it?).  He also gave me a dry form of Neosporin that I have forgotten the name of, so that I could heal the other wounds on my foot.  He had other herbal remedy goodies too, but I didn’t BUY any of them…

Staff infection is also big in Hawaii, Adam knew it all really (I think that name brings certain amount of wisdom to the world).  He even knew that the holes on the side of my feet were from brand new Rainbows without me even saying a word.  He has been living the beach life well, I thanked him for his help and his council.  He was the best "doctor" I dealt with on Maui...and I actually had to go to the hospital and deal with "actual doctors" one night (story to come, Manic Maui Moment).  

That cut out a good portion of my planned activities for the next few days until my foot got a chance to heal.  So it’s a good thing that I had my whiskey on standby! (It usually is)

It kept me out of action for about a week.  Then I got a chance to get back out there.  Not at "Shark Pit" but at another spot called "Break Wall" (guess what they have there?...a rock wall of course that can also be hazardous...).

I was still a little hesitant but I really want to get better at surfing so I had to go.  On the way out Jackie was giving me more tips about the "Break Wall".  On this trip in the late afternoon, I had no problems what so ever....for ONCE!

Nasty Nate & I, whale watching

I surfed a few waves and didn't get my ass kicked at all!  It was great.  I figured out the key to surfing with the coral that day.  I had seen others do it but I didn't believe I had the balance to succeed in such a feat.  The key is to get up on the board, ride a little on the wave, and then lay back down on the board...don't jump off or ride in too far.  Just ride enough to have some fun and then casually lay back down the way you got up and cruise off of the wave before you get too far in.


I was able to do this thanks to the paddle board lessons I received from Jackie's roommate Nate a few days before.  It really helped me with my balance on the water, so things came naturally and I can't wait to get back out there again....preferably with as little Vana as humanly possible but at least I know what to do now.