Even though that's a perfectly retarded reason to do anything like that because whatever I would spend on alcohol alone at these other destinations would by far exceed any one plane ticket.
Yes, I do realize these things when and while I'm doing them. No, I don't care. Now you know me a little better, we can be friends.
Another one of those reasons is because since I've been in Australia, I've found out that a lot of the locals I've met don't do a lot of travelling. In fact, in regards to most of the people I've met, I've seen more of Australia than they have....and it's THEIR country.
So when Aussies do finally tell me of places I "need to go", I try to listen because let's face it, they're not going to lots of places. Hence if they recommend it, it must be worth trying out.
Plus, my friend and current roommate at the time Joe "The Clown-man" Taylor made me push the button to book the flight...but I like to believe it would have happened anyway.
Plus, my friend and current roommate at the time Joe "The Clown-man" Taylor made me push the button to book the flight...but I like to believe it would have happened anyway.
But the list of Australia anecdotes goes like this, since I've been here.
1) Byron Bay & Nimbin
2) Blue Mountains
3) Bali, Indonesia
That's it.
All the other places I've been were things I've wanted to do for myself or heard from other backpackers. These are the only things that Aussies do. I guess if it's not a bourbon & coke or a pokie machine, it just ain't worth doin'! (Kidding Aussies!). But in all seriousness, Bali is their vacation spot. Their "Spring Break" spot. Their "Myrtle or Daytona Beach" if you will....that's where they go.
The reason being I suppose is because it is so cheap! Literally, once you step off the plane, you're a millionaire to them. I'm not saying "millionaire" just for kicks...you're ACTUALLY a millionaire! They generally treat you as such.
Their conversion rate is something along the lines of 9,000RP (Rupia) = $1AUS. So basically, 100,000Rp = $10AUS, $1,000,000=$100AUS.
So you step of the plane and get $100, you take $1,000,000 out of the ATM. MILLIONAIRE!
I think it's the most retarded currency exchange I've ever seen. They only do it to confuse the tourists coming in. That's the only reason. It's all about haggling there and they don't want you to know how much money you're actually spending...so they make it sound really expensive even though it's only $4 or whatever.
The locals get a kick out a haggling, or some will just come up and directly ask you for money. You're white=you're rich. That's the mantra there.
It's actually kind of annoying. You can't walk down the street or go anywhere without being accosted to buy something. Or get a massage, or your hair-braided (Okay, maybe that was just me). Every shop on the strip, they all just sit outside and bug the every living shit out of you as you walk by.
I was told it was because they don't actually have the word "No" in their language. Not that I buy that. But once they taught me the term "Tedok"(sp?). Which basically means "negative". Or you can say, "Tedok trima-casi" (sp?). Which means, "No, thank you" basically. Or so I was told. Not sure if the spelling is right, not even sure if it's "Tedok" or "Dedok"...but I do know once I started using their language more. They left me the hell alone.
It's actually kind of annoying. You can't walk down the street or go anywhere without being accosted to buy something. Or get a massage, or your hair-braided (Okay, maybe that was just me). Every shop on the strip, they all just sit outside and bug the every living shit out of you as you walk by.
I was told it was because they don't actually have the word "No" in their language. Not that I buy that. But once they taught me the term "Tedok"(sp?). Which basically means "negative". Or you can say, "Tedok trima-casi" (sp?). Which means, "No, thank you" basically. Or so I was told. Not sure if the spelling is right, not even sure if it's "Tedok" or "Dedok"...but I do know once I started using their language more. They left me the hell alone.
Once I stepped off the plane, we had to go through customs like usual. Except there's a small wrinkle in this plan. You have to pay $25 US, just to enter the place. Depending on where you are from, they make you pay a specific amount. I would also find out later that they make you pay $15 US just to leave the country as well.
Which isn't such a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Except that's just the start of how they try to get you.
Another way they get you at the airport is the "baggage claim" guys. I almost got into a fight with one of them immediately...I am NOT happy with Bali so far.
I get through customs and am still at the ATM trying to wrap my ahead around the currency situation when I see a guy go and grab my bag. He's dressed up as a customs officer, so I assume that I've been selected for a random screening or some such nonsense. I do have a massively awesome beard on my face that apparently no Asians have never ever seen before...I wander over.
I ask the guy why I got chosen and what the check was about. He keeps asking me about my friend. I ask him where we're going and how long it's going to take. He gives no response. I'm getting nowhere.
Finally, Cheese joins me and hands his bag over to another guy, we walk straight through customs.
I hand my passport over to the last guy in queue. Wait a second....
Why did we just walk right by all the other custom officers...why didn't I have to put my bag though the machine...why is that guy walking off with my bag!!!????
I leave my passport (not smart) and run over to the guy (also not smart, to run anywhere in customs). I rip my bag off his back, "Give me my f***ing bag dude!?" I exclaim.
I want to punch the guy, I think he's robbing me initially. He may not speak a lot of English but he gets the picture...he quietly and quickly walks away. I turn around to the guy handling my passport and ask "Is that guy with you?".
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| A dreadfully funny ax-murderer profile pic of me |
"Well why the f*** is he dressed in your uniform if he's not a part of customs!?". I'm heated. No one's giving me answers and I can't say I blame them, I'm not sure if they understand what I'm saying but you don't mess with a guy with a beard like that...>>>>
Cheese comes over to calm me down, apparently his guy spoke a little bit more English and explained that he needed a tip for his "service". Which was, grab our bags without our permission and carry them 20ft.
Cheese told his guy to "f*** off", maybe even gave him $1 I think. My guy didn't even ask, didn't even stay around...he knew the deal. That's what they do. They grab unsuspecting travelers bags and take them out to the taxis'. Which would be a nice service, if you asked for it. But you don't and they feel obliged to do it anyways.
And somehow they have free reign to walk through customs like it's no big deal...dressed as customs officials...there's some major scam going on here...I don't let myself get too deep into that. We're through, "let's go find the hostel" is goal number one.
It only gets worse once we step outside. I had heard tales of how annoying the Balinese on the strip could be, but it was ridiculous. I was given a tip that walking around the airport looking for a cab was the worst move. That we should attempt to find the actual "Taxi Station" itself. The only problem is, since we took the cheapest flight, it's 1AM. No "Taxi Station" is open.
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| Zombies man, zombies |
Oh, and don't even think about standing still...it just makes them worse. At least if you're walking you can veer them off somewhere or continuously go and hope they can't catch up...then won't get the hint either way. But if you're standing still, they just come stand with you...and talk...and talk...and talk...
I tell Cheese that this be what it's like to be famous. Where people are just hovering around you like crows on a dead carcass. We felt like movie stars with the paparazzi following us everywhere we went. It was really terrible. I have since decided that I do not want any fame...but I'll gladly take all the fortune you can give me!!! ;)
We finally decide to start bargaining with a guy. Another tip that was bestowed upon me about Bali, was that whatever they offer, counter with less than half of that amount. So, the cab guy wanted to take us to Bali for $250,000Rp(or $25)...when I knew that an actual cab ride should cost anywhere in the $5-$10 range (from my friend Khis in Sydney, who had just been there a few weeks before).
We offered $25,000Rp at first...so roughly $2.50. He was not pleased with our offer. But we told him we'd been there before and started naming places in Kuta. We do that everywhere we go but here it seemed more necessary than usual.
It makes the person you're negotiating with a little more hesitant to scam you. I do it to cabbies especially; EVERYWHERE. Travelling or not. I just start spouting out random streets and landmarks so they assume that I know where I am and where we should be going at all times.
We talked with him and a few other cabbies until we realized their one acute weakness as a society. The "walk away". Yup. That's it. All you got to do is simply walk away and they'll give you whatever you want for whatever price you want and more.
"Oh, you don't want to pay that? Okay, well maybe I don't want this anymore/find a better price elsewhere" (turning, walking)
"WAIT! WAIT! Okay okay, no problem"
Simple as that. We ended up paying a little more than one should but it was late and we just wanted to get to the hostel. We paid $120,000 ($12) for the ride and considering the guy didn't even know where he was going. He made out pretty well I think. Cheese and I thought we were going to die. It's like Malaysia in the sense that their are NO RULES on the road it seems. People just do whatever the hell they want. We almost killed 3 guys on Mopeds just leaving the airport.
The cab driver needed to pull over a few times and ask other's for directions. So that wasn't a good sign to begin with but we eventually made it to the place we were staying.
The thing I love about Kuta, Bali though is that there are no doors really. Just open, cabana type businesses. Which was what our hostel looked like. Except it wasn't exactly a hostel, in Bali you can pay hostel prices for nice resorts and hotels so we took our chances on one that sounded decent.
I let Alex book the room, he's fairly proficient in this area usually...not this time. He generally takes his time, reads reviews, compares prices and so on and so forth. However, he got a little confused about what a "double room" was.
So with a "double room" he assumed it meant 2 beds, what we found was one double bed...for both of us and a pretty foul smelling bathroom.
Right. So now my first night in Bali is spooning with Cheesey-Mo, how delightful.
We laid down (no homo) and tried to watch a little Balinese TV, we found Sportscenter which had an Orioles Vs. Red Sox baseball game on. The reason I bring this up is because now I will fast forward you to our last day in Kuta 4 days in the future and every day at every hour, the ESPN channel had an Orioles Vs. Red Sox baseball game on!
Now, I'm not exactly a huge baseball fan so I didn't stick around to watch any of it at any point but I am pretty positive that it was the exact same game on a loop....I'm not 100% but pretty sure.
On top of all this, I was bitten several times on the chest by mosquitoes. So there was a minor concern about the condition of our hotel room. It turned out to be okay obviously, although we had just finished reading up on a "bed-bug" epidemic in Bali so it was pretty funny to see Cheesey freak out. He hopped right up and got on his computer and did so much Bed-bug research you would have thought he had a term paper due in the morning. Needless to say, the poor guy didn't get too much sleep that night (again, no homo).
Once we realized that wasn't the case, we finally got a chance to get to sleep. We only stayed there for 2 nights for obvious reasons. We were able to get another room with 2 beds the next day, but the place was dead. It seemed like no one was staying there, which made me question the little guy at the front counter who thought it was funny that Cheese and I were "having to" sleep together. He could have got us another bed I think, because the place was a ghost town.
Either way, the next day we went exploring, grabbed some food, and went to the beach. After all that we went back to the hostel to kick it at the pool. Which was still deserted. I checked my Facebook a little too late and realized our buddies Kiwi buddies from Malaysia, Joel and James; had sent me a message telling us where to meet them that day and where we should go.
We had just missed them at the beach. So I sent them a reply. Cheese and I get out of the pool and decide to go find these places that our Kiwi scouts had designated as "must-sees". No sooner had I gotten a towel to drive off that they came walking around the corner of our hostel. Brilliant!
No phones, no way of knowing we were even there or what room we would have been in. But because we were at the pool at that exact moment we ended up running into each other...it was absolutely brilliant! I think it was that point when I realized that this was fate intervening. That we met these kids for a reason and we were bound to have a great time from then on. Fate is a tricky lady when she wants to be, but damn if she's not right a lot of the time. Not much you can do about that, not that you would want to change it anyway though. We were still missing 1 from the group (Sierra) but she arrived the next day...but I don't think she'd mind us doing some more "scouting" for her before she arrives...the party can begin....
Okay, this next little bit of information is for people who actually intend on traveling to Bali. Whether you find the above picture cute, or cruel (because he is on a chain) you should know a little bit about this scam on the streets of Kuta.
I tell Cheese that this be what it's like to be famous. Where people are just hovering around you like crows on a dead carcass. We felt like movie stars with the paparazzi following us everywhere we went. It was really terrible. I have since decided that I do not want any fame...but I'll gladly take all the fortune you can give me!!! ;)
We finally decide to start bargaining with a guy. Another tip that was bestowed upon me about Bali, was that whatever they offer, counter with less than half of that amount. So, the cab guy wanted to take us to Bali for $250,000Rp(or $25)...when I knew that an actual cab ride should cost anywhere in the $5-$10 range (from my friend Khis in Sydney, who had just been there a few weeks before).
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| The Kuta Bombing memorial |
It makes the person you're negotiating with a little more hesitant to scam you. I do it to cabbies especially; EVERYWHERE. Travelling or not. I just start spouting out random streets and landmarks so they assume that I know where I am and where we should be going at all times.
We talked with him and a few other cabbies until we realized their one acute weakness as a society. The "walk away". Yup. That's it. All you got to do is simply walk away and they'll give you whatever you want for whatever price you want and more.
"WAIT! WAIT! Okay okay, no problem"
Simple as that. We ended up paying a little more than one should but it was late and we just wanted to get to the hostel. We paid $120,000 ($12) for the ride and considering the guy didn't even know where he was going. He made out pretty well I think. Cheese and I thought we were going to die. It's like Malaysia in the sense that their are NO RULES on the road it seems. People just do whatever the hell they want. We almost killed 3 guys on Mopeds just leaving the airport.
The cab driver needed to pull over a few times and ask other's for directions. So that wasn't a good sign to begin with but we eventually made it to the place we were staying.
The thing I love about Kuta, Bali though is that there are no doors really. Just open, cabana type businesses. Which was what our hostel looked like. Except it wasn't exactly a hostel, in Bali you can pay hostel prices for nice resorts and hotels so we took our chances on one that sounded decent.
So with a "double room" he assumed it meant 2 beds, what we found was one double bed...for both of us and a pretty foul smelling bathroom.
Right. So now my first night in Bali is spooning with Cheesey-Mo, how delightful.
We laid down (no homo) and tried to watch a little Balinese TV, we found Sportscenter which had an Orioles Vs. Red Sox baseball game on. The reason I bring this up is because now I will fast forward you to our last day in Kuta 4 days in the future and every day at every hour, the ESPN channel had an Orioles Vs. Red Sox baseball game on!
Now, I'm not exactly a huge baseball fan so I didn't stick around to watch any of it at any point but I am pretty positive that it was the exact same game on a loop....I'm not 100% but pretty sure.
On top of all this, I was bitten several times on the chest by mosquitoes. So there was a minor concern about the condition of our hotel room. It turned out to be okay obviously, although we had just finished reading up on a "bed-bug" epidemic in Bali so it was pretty funny to see Cheesey freak out. He hopped right up and got on his computer and did so much Bed-bug research you would have thought he had a term paper due in the morning. Needless to say, the poor guy didn't get too much sleep that night (again, no homo).
Once we realized that wasn't the case, we finally got a chance to get to sleep. We only stayed there for 2 nights for obvious reasons. We were able to get another room with 2 beds the next day, but the place was dead. It seemed like no one was staying there, which made me question the little guy at the front counter who thought it was funny that Cheese and I were "having to" sleep together. He could have got us another bed I think, because the place was a ghost town.
Either way, the next day we went exploring, grabbed some food, and went to the beach. After all that we went back to the hostel to kick it at the pool. Which was still deserted. I checked my Facebook a little too late and realized our buddies Kiwi buddies from Malaysia, Joel and James; had sent me a message telling us where to meet them that day and where we should go. We had just missed them at the beach. So I sent them a reply. Cheese and I get out of the pool and decide to go find these places that our Kiwi scouts had designated as "must-sees". No sooner had I gotten a towel to drive off that they came walking around the corner of our hostel. Brilliant!
No phones, no way of knowing we were even there or what room we would have been in. But because we were at the pool at that exact moment we ended up running into each other...it was absolutely brilliant! I think it was that point when I realized that this was fate intervening. That we met these kids for a reason and we were bound to have a great time from then on. Fate is a tricky lady when she wants to be, but damn if she's not right a lot of the time. Not much you can do about that, not that you would want to change it anyway though. We were still missing 1 from the group (Sierra) but she arrived the next day...but I don't think she'd mind us doing some more "scouting" for her before she arrives...the party can begin....
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| Joel, Me, McGee, James |
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| Seaweed flavor...but...why? |
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| Performing monkey |
Okay, this next little bit of information is for people who actually intend on traveling to Bali. Whether you find the above picture cute, or cruel (because he is on a chain) you should know a little bit about this scam on the streets of Kuta.
The idea is, the owner trains the monkey to do various exercises and tricks...like riding a little toy bike, or in this particular instance in the photo, he's playing "dead".
Sounds fairly innocent right?
Well, if you know anything about monkeys you know that they like shinny things. Now whether this is the monkey's natural instinct itself or the training of its master, I have no idea. But what the monkey will do is hop on you, grab whatever shiny garb you might be wearing at the time (sunglasses, watch, earrings, grill (if you're that ghetto and still living in 2002) etc etc.) and then hop back to their master.
"Aww cute" is probably what you're saying to yourself or thinking. Well it's not so cute because you can't get it back. The owner will now attempt to sell you back your own merchandise. Claiming it wasn't his fault, it was all the monkey.
Not that you necessarily need to avoid ALL monkeys or anything, just make sure you have your important things tucked away or at least a firm grip.
So you've been warned.
So you've been warned.
Not that this warning is for monkeys only however.
A similar thing happened to my friend, one of the Kiwi's, Joel. He went into a shop with a hat on his head. Ended up being surrounded by a few Balinese guys trying to sell him other hats and various pointless tourist crap. So he took his hat off for a second to try on other hats. The guys in the store snatched the hat and passed it around until he couldn't find it anymore. Joel's a pretty big guy and could have easily pomeled them into the dirt until he got what he wanted but A) he's not that type of guy and B) he follows the code of "DO NOT get arrested outside your own country". They then showed him his own hat and tried to sell it back to him like he didn't just come into the store with it.
It ended up okay because he told them he would buy it back and began to pull out his money, when the guy put the hat down on the table he pulled a "snatch & run" and got away...with HIS own hat.
The bottom line is be careful with you stuff there, or it won't be YOUR STUFF for long.
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