My “Thank You” to Sydney & the ‘Bong (and not the one you’re thinking of)

Big family atmosphere

I originally had no intentions of writing anything about my last few months in Sydney.  To me when I came back, it felt like there just wasn’t going to be a lot to tell.  I worked A LOT, so in turn, on weekends I felt like I missed A LOT. 

That was it.  That was all I had planned for my last few months.  I originally planned to work and workout; make as much money as I could for the next destination…whatever destination that came along. 

I never planned for this to happen.  So as I was sitting in the airport on my way out of Australia…enjoying what could have been my very last meat pie with tomato sauce (not ketchup)  EVER (just kidding, going to be a while though!)…looking out at the Sydney skyline from my exit gate, everything hit me all at once. 

Sophia & I WOULD have looked up for this pic
but...Maria's ass is just way too nice

I had to write SOMETHING.  All of this didn’t happen by mistake and it definitely was in no way as uneventful as I thought, nor as I originally intended.

I lose sight of that a lot.  I’m the one doing it, living it, and having the experience; but to me, it’s just my life.  It doesn't seem like a big deal, it's just "another day in the life..." sort of situation. 

It is though, it is a big deal.  It's special and I should treat it as such.  Others tell me all the time and I have to try and put that in perspective.  Which this forum in particular, allows me to do. 

More inappropriate to come;
This picture just needs to be seen

I’m really going to miss it in Australia.  I’m not very emotional about good-byes.  I don’t do well with mushy-moments either.  I’m the guy making the inappropriate jokes to “lighten the mood” and I hope no one sees me as I slip out the back door. 

Everything came together looking out at downtown Sydney from the airport that was about to transport me away. 

How I felt when I first came off the plane, how scared I was, how funny it is now that I was even scared at all. 

The magnitude of going to a new country by yourself and figuring things out on your own, how much I’ve grown as a person, how much I’ve learned, and how much I’ve changed as well. 

I can probably say that I haven’t changed.  Try to take the famous celebrity route and say I’ve been this way forever.  I probably haven’t though, at least in some aspects.    

This of course includes adding even more rounds to my already “well-rounded-ness” and I know that I haven’t been this tranquil since I can remember.  I let things come to me more often now and if doesn’t then I carry  a  “oh, well, it is what it is” mentality. 

This was truly one of the best years of my life and there's no denying it. 

I have my friend Matt who left me high and dry in New Zealand to thank for it. 

I have myself to thank for it too. 

See? Strong!

If he wouldn’t have left me and I wasn’t as strong of a person as I am, then things would have been terribly different and even if that doesn’t necessarily mean “bad”, it at least means it wouldn’t have happened the way it did.  

Which in retrospect, this would have been a terrible mishap in my estimation.  It happened as it did, for the reasons that it did and I'm thankful for that.

I wouldn’t have had my independence to come and go as I please and more likely than not, I wouldn’t have met any of the people that I’ve come to know in the past year.

This is why the others I need to thank and the things I’ll remember the most, are the friends I’ve made.   The people I will never forget and hope to see again whether in their country or my own.

The ones who I hope to randomly run into one day at another hostel in Bumba-fuck, Nowhere.

ESPECIALLY the ones that I link up to on Facebook and invite myself to their couches (I’m coming! So be ready!).

Me & Mario...uh, I mean Dan

Like Dan, who gave me a ride to the airport and yet it felt like just another day, just another conversation about random pointless nonsense that doesn’t matter to anyone but him and I.  I didn’t think I was actually leaving until after that was over.  It was a very calming experience, as gay as that sounds...but I like that he didn't treat me like someone he would NEVER see again...he knew...we both did...this wasn't the end.

 

Dan couldn’t make it to my going away dinner (1 of the 2 I had because I’m that lucky), so he offered to give me a lift to the airport instead…and I let him, even though he is ALWAYS LATE (he didn’t disappoint on that either by the way).

So the thanks just have to be said, to everyone. 

The first crew at the 'Bong

To my friends I made during my first stint at the “Billabong Gardens”.  Without going into great detail or naming names, you know who you are. 

Who helped with my transition into hostel living when I hadn’t done it on a regular basis.  Who helped with making me find a new sense of what people from other countries were all about…and who also helped me forget about the terrible time I had in Gold Coast when I first arrived. 

Who made me choose to stay and find work when I was seriously contemplating going back to the U.S. because of my lack of funds.  Who all went to Kelly’s every friggin’ night whether I wanted to or not and partied in "Room 13" within “Club Julian”. 

Which was no more than Big Julian’s twin bed with sheets around and a strobe light, that fit anywhere from 4-10 people inside…

Or the friends that I made the 2^nd time around after I ran out of money in Asia (no easy task mind you) and came back.

 

Goonin' around

Before I met any of you, when I assumed that the ghost town that had become “Billabong Gardens” and my coming back was a mistake…only to meet some of the best people I’ve ever had the pleasure of being in contact with and definite lifelong friends that I never plan on losing touch with. 

To reach the level of inappropriateness that has never been reached on any scale of human interaction.  It was a pleasure being the “Prince” of all of that.

Things like, humping Michael's face
while he talks to his father on the phone

From “Lucy’s Breakfast” to the “anything but regular" days in the dog park, to “riding the bus”; or the constant festivities in "Room 2" after hours with all the “Goon & Switch (shirts and sometimes pants)” parties and of course the 31 (RECORD-BREAKING) noise complaints in one night. 

When there would be times when I came into my room and didn’t know a single person in there because there were half-naked parties happening.  Which was always okay.

It reminded me of college and I thought those were the best times before now.  It would almost be like crashing the Sydney University parties because it was incredibly accessible right down the road…but wait, we did that too!

Yup, that was us.

And of course (how could I forget), the amount of dissection dedicated to the possibility of a (or the inevitable, depending on how you feel) zombie apocalypse.  

A conversation that I enjoy throwing out in a crowded room full of people (preferably ones that I don't know) like a grenade to: A) entertain myself, B) get people talking to one another when they weren't about an interesting topic and most importantly, C) to separate the weak from dependably strong under pressure.  

You always have to plan for things like this because I've already decided that "zombie bite" is not how I intend on going out of this world....so I need to see who's on my team, who can handle themselves under pressure, smart enough and could be invited into my safe house (doesn't everyone do this!?).
All of you endured my probing and innate interest for zombie fodder and I feel like you're more prepared because of it.  

Again, to both of the groups at the hostel who always laughed because I liked to hang out in my man cave more than anywhere else in the hostel. Thanks for putting up with my "me time" and occasional anti-socialism.  Sometimes I just need to re-charge the batteries...this is only done so that I can serve you with entertainment better, thanks for not taking offense.

My work colleagues from "ZanziBar" who allowed me to not only see a traveler’s perspective that I received from my hostel crew but an Australian resident one as well. 

Who showed me around Sydney and kept me in the loop on all things to do & not do. 

An entire "Kingdom of Inappropriate" behavior

Who kept me fully entertained and interested on the weekends while at work, when I usually was wishing that I was out drinking with my hostel peeps and are included in the main reasons I decided to stay in Sydney instead of traveling more and finding other work in a new city. 

With the staff including people like; Blake, who steadily called me “the confederate” (because I was a southern American, of course) and only pulling rank on me ((I'm the manager") when he didn’t want to do something, putting me on “Game of Thrones” and our countless conversations of gaming/movies/TV to get us through the shifts, also he is the only reason I have anything of substance to watch on my hard drives.

Real recognize real!

Or Dan (who I previously mentioned), who would make fun of my accent even though he was just speaking regularly (he has more of a natural American accent than me, it’s weird), who only worked 37 minutes per shift for some reason, and was always WAY too busy writing plays and being a movie star on Sydney U. to hang out with me but still did anyways (sometimes, when Mr. Speilberg had time to answer his phone).

Dr. Filth himself

I can't forget Adrian aka “Dr. Filth”, and Mick aka Mick-o-laus, who neither one will unfortunately EVER SEE THIS because they don’t have Facebook or links to this blog but who together and separately made Sydney a lot more fun and I know it wouldn’t have been as great without them. 

They showed me where the best places to drink downtown and made every 12-15 hour shift I worked seem like, well not fun obviously because it was a fucking 12-15 hour shift! 

But they somehow made those shifts tolerable and more enjoyable when it normally wouldn’t have been.

Also to James and Tim Cliff, who were great managers even though I had to stay on late EVERY TIME you guys worked for various and pointless reasons, none of them any less important than because you guys just needed someone to entertain you for the final hours…it’s okay, you love me, I get it.  I love you too.

A sincere and special thanks has to go out to Mick though, who didn’t hire me but allowed me to stay on against his initial better judgement (not because of me, but because of who hired me by the way) and he and I quickly formed a bond of friendship that was 100% real, informative and truthful the entire time.  I always appreciated that.   

Me, Mick-alaus, & his "toupee'"

The man who gave me those 12-15 hour shifts because he knew I needed the money and couldn’t fit me anywhere else on the schedule for normal hours, and yet still allowed me to come back to work (no questions asked) when I was almost stranded in Darwin with hardly any money at all.  By FAR the best manager I have ever worked for.  Renowned thanks go out to him.

The beautiful Ellyssa!

And of course, the girls! Elyssa, Hayley, Khissy, MK aka “Madame Messy”, Annie, and the rest of the crew. 

Ellyssa who braided my hair, petted me fondly and offered to marry me even though she likes the ladies just as much as I do, but offered just so I could stay in the country.  

Hayley who I went to FOTC (Flight of the Conchords) concert with and had in-depth conversations about life and also offered me a hand to stay and even went as far as to ask her boyfriend Stephen if it was okay (which he said yes, so thank you as well Stephen!).  I appreciate the sentiment and even though we would make completely beautiful aryan babies, I had to decline (until a later date possibly; haha).  Thanks to both of you beautiful couples, I wish you all well.

Hayley and I, so very aryan

To the rest of the crew which I don’t have enough space to divulge each and every one properly so I’ll just put you all together in a group of “my loves!”...like a boss.

And last but certainly not least, the last job I had while in OZ at Kelly’s.  When they told me that I couldn’t drink there after work to deter me but little did they know I had my fill of drinking there with the first ‘Bong crew…and yet I still spent enough time there to invent the “next big thing” in car-bomb creations with Kilkenny called “I Kill’d Kenny” (coming to a bar near you). 

In fact, you guys are welcome for that.  I’ll say thank you as well but you’re also welcome for my complete awesomeness.

Martin & Tom

Where I thought my fellow barkeep Tom was going to punch someone every single night and then I laughed until I cried because I wanted it to happen so badly.  When Tom dropped lines of absolute GOLD on random hot (and questionable) ladies and Asian women to get us rides the morning after.

Where Maarrrrr-tin and I tossed cups to and fro’ and made jokes that no one got but us.

DJ Jim

Where DJ Lil’ Jim played the tunes and kept me sane on all the incredibly boring nights; even though coins hate him and he couldn’t win a coin-toss of “who gets to leave early” game to save his life. 

The place where I made Dave Lee fall in love with Americans and then beat him in a game of SOCCER much to his dismay (4-1; he still loves us though).  

Even though my total overall record with him was probably 1-22 or something terrible, it was always fun hanging out with the fellas at his place after work playing video games and eating homemade ONLY mushroom pizzas because Jim can’t have meat (it’s okay Jimmy, we like mushrooms, promise!). 

Kelly's Heroes

And even Jarrah who came in when I was leaving and gave me nothing but inappropriately weird hypothetical choices and then always changed them each time I finally made a decision to make them suck more than they originally did. 

I was never planning on staying as long as I did.  I was going to stay at “Billabong Gardens” for a few weeks, find work, stay a few more and then leave.  I ended up staying in total, for 7 of my 11 ½ months in Australia because of you people. 

All of you, we have shared so much and it is sad when it ends but that’s the life we chose. 

In backpacker terms especially, we were lucky in a way that not many hostels can be when everyone stays together cohesively for such a long period of time. 

Sometimes you meet really great people for just a day, or a week, however we all stayed together (both groups) for months at a time.  I imagine it's the same for immigrant workers too.  So even though I haven't been an immigrant for too long, I could have been "one of those" backpackers to up and leave after a few weeks...but I stuck it out for the long run and I'm glad that I did.

I can only describe the hostel I lived in as a share house though, never a hostel, and while we complained a lot of the time about things that were little to no influence on our lives (like the Asian cleaners, Hiko, etc)...it is different and it is special and it easily was the best I’ve stayed in and not because of the "perks". 

That’s why it’s up to us to stay in-touch.  To see each other when we can and to keep everyone updated on our whereabouts. 

Facebook is a gift and a nuisance in that way.  It’s truly up to us because if these were the 60’s or 70’s, how many of us would have come out of our acid-induced debauchery comas’ long enough to exchange postal addresses??? 

I’ve seen most of you guys/girls in action attempting to complete fairly easy and compliable activities…so it’s doubtful.  Joke.

If you weren't mentioned then don’t take it personally.  I’ve had many fantastic experiences with each and every one of you, too many to recount, especially you hostel folk but all my Sydney counterparts; too many names, too great of times, too little paper.

I just wanted to say THANK YOU ALL.  Without getting into anything too sentimental…so I’ll just say…you all suck…but I’m going to miss you anyways.

Good luck, I hope everything works out for all of you and I also hope that I’m still around and connected enough to experience it on some level with you guys.

Did I mention you guys suck?  I did?  Okay, good because you do, you all do. J

See you soon!