The "Road To Hana"

Road to Hana

I flew into Maui on a Thursday morning.  The same Thursday morning AFTER Hawaii-lloween, so needless to say I was NOT feeling too festive or fresh, more feisty.

 

I was still very excited for the new beginning however.  My friend Jackie was coming to pick me up from the airport and she had informed me via Facebook that we were going “on an adventure” first thing off the plane.  She didn’t specify, I didn’t ask.

I’ve known Jackie for a while now, partly because I’m old and say things like “I’ve known them for awhile”, without every getting into too much detail.  Also, she's another Coastal Carolina University alum, like my buddy Geoff (yes, it's possible to graduate from there) and we too have a lot of close mutual friends.  She now works as a massage therapist on the island of Lanai and lives in Lahanai, Maui the rest of the week. 

Jackie & I

Once I arrived at the airport, Jackie was nowhere to be found.  I didn’t panic but I did start contemplating backup plans because I had no idea where she even lives.  We were both very vague in our messages and all I knew was that she was coming to get me and there would be an adventure to be had.  Vague like, "I'll come get you, what time?"..."I'll be there at noon, come find me".  Stuff like that.

I wasn't waiting too long before I saw her though.  We embraced and had a little chat to catch up, but we had places to go.  She informed me that we were going camping.  I’m torn between excited and hungover (which would be a state of NOT wanting to go camping)…but I decided that finding Jackie's couch should NOT be my first move in Maui so I changed my tune and adopted the idea immediately.

I get to the car and it is absolutely packed full of stuff and people.  Two of Jackie’s friends are going with us, J.R. and Katrina.  Katrina used to be Jackie’s roommate when she lived in San Diego.  Some (more old) friends and I went out to visit Jackie when she lived there so I already knew Katrina, J.R. was her boyfriend.

They had already been there for a week and were flying out the next evening.  So to make less trips back to Lahaina, they already packed all of their bags and put them in Jackie’s car along with all the camping equipment.  This is before we had even gotten any alcohol, ice, food, or charcoal. So things were a bit tight.  

Exploring the lava rock formations...barefoot of course

When we got everything else we needed, Jackie made mention that maybe the boys should take over the packing duties, since "for some reason boys always know how to make things fit in tight places" (hello, hello, hello!).  Jackie is always good for a regular comment that I like to make inappropriate and her mildly uncomfortable.

Little did Jackie know, I had already been planning the pack in my head since I got into the car at the airport.  I told her it seemed that way for guys because of our countless boy hours spent playing Tetris.  That game made us the way we are and that we would have that car packed and ready to go in no time.

Naturally this leads to great success, J.R. and I had the car packed with room to spare (enough room to fit a bamboo stick Jackie! I’ll tell you that much!; but that'll come later...).

My guide

(Editor’s note: This bitter rant about a stick in the car will make perfect sense towards the end)

So space was still very tight to say the least and the drive we were making is over 2 hours, not the most comfortable of trips but the scenery more than made up for the lack of space.)

The “Road to Hana” is a must do for all people travelling to Maui from what I was told.  So I consider myself lucky that got to be my first Maui experience.  It’s an absolutely gorgeous drive from start to finish with plenty of lookout points, trails, and waterfalls to see along the way. 

The trip could be stretched over a day or a period of days if you wanted to.  Depending on the stops and activities you choose to participate in.  There are lots of camp grounds and the rule of sleeping on the beach in Hawaii is, if there is a fishing pole in the water, you can sleep on the beach anywhere you like.  Which I'm sure the Hobo's United League would appreciate because the weather too, is perfect.  Pretty easy going being homeless in Hawaii I guess, beach naps and coconuts, sign me up I say!

We didn’t make any stops the first day however.  We were trying to get out to Haleakalea National Park before dark so we could set up camp and cook some food.  The plan was to do all the fun stuff on the way back the next day.

"Seven Sacred Pools"

So that’s what happened.  We did a little exploring around the campsite when we first got there, made camp, had a few drinks and cooked some food.  

Okay, J.R. and I cooked some food, I don't know what the girls were eating...they are vegetarian so they ate some sort of tofu sausage things that looked like dog poop...it was gross.  We then all got to bed early, everyone was still feeling the effects from Hawaii-lloween.  We were also planning on starting the day around sunrise so we could see a bunch of great sights.

We started our morning with a dip in the “Seven Sacred Pools”, which is located conveniently in the park we were staying in.  The tide was low but not low enough that we couldn't swim.  So we jumped in two of the seven pools and paddled around for a bit. 

Didn't buy these;
Just thought they were funny

I should make a mention now that I had no shoes.  This information becomes important later.  The reason I had no shoes, is not that I didn’t have any shoes at all, it’s because I had no appropriate shoes for this trip.  

My sandals had broken the day before I flew to Hawaii so I had to go buy a new pair.  I bought a new pair of Rainbows from an evil Polynesian lady in Oahu. 

She’s evil because the sandals tore chunks out of both my feet.  Literally.  Not cuts, not slices, but chunks of flesh from my foot.

Chunks of flesh

I am aware that this is general protocol for new Rainbows but she talked me into getting a “Large” instead of an “Extra Large”, which is what I always wore before I met this evil temptress and they were always fine.  I don’t know why I listened; I have never had any luck with purchases from Asians. 

We were getting in and out of the car and going through different terrains at each stop (cave, gravel, rocks, sticks, forest, dirt, grass, water, to name a few).  So instead of having everyone waiting on me to tie up my trainer shoes every time we did something, I choose to go barefoot…because I’m a badass.  Which you probably already knew but I like to remind you.  

This also made me look like Tom Hanks from "Cast Away".  The hair, the beard, shirtless with no shoes and an inexplicable love for an inanimate object.  Tom's was "Wilson" the volleyball.  Mine was "Tony", my bamboo stick.  

Koko Beach

We also made our way through (or they did, I limped) the Waianapanapa Caves, Koko Beach, as well as Blacksand Beach. 

We body surfed on Koko for a little while and I was amazed how clear the water was.  You could see right through the waves.  It was amazing and if you caught the wave just right, you could ride all the way in. 

Blacksand Beach was also really cool but we didn’t stay there long.  It’s not really the type of beach to hang out on but I’ve never seen black sand before so it was also really great.

Blacksand Beach

We swam in the fresh water Waianapanapa caves, or at least one of the areas.  The other area was apparently a lot cooler but it’s smarter to go with a guide because it’s dark and you have to literally swim under the caves and find the air pockets to make your way to the other side.  

Cave jumping

Really dangerous, so we chose to go into the other side which was just really freezing cold!  It's a lot of fun to swim in and it's pretty deep but completely clear, so you can see down to the bottom.  

There’s no light that ever touches the water down there so I imagined it as swimming in the Artic like the people from Titanic, minus that whole, death, fear and nowhere to go portion of the swim of course.

Afterwards, we drove around some more (because that's what you have to do to get places) and stopped at a couple of the scenic views for pictures.  Jackie kept giving me a hard time about being barefoot.   She said she was trying to “toughen me up” and give me “summer Hawaii feet”.  So I told her to stop talking sh**, take hers off and come find the next waterfall with me. 

Falls go all the way up

Katrina and J.R. sat that one out because it wasn't as clear of a path as the last few had been.  We had to climb over a little water treatment shack and make our own way.  The path was hardly visible but Jackie and I fought our way through, a little rust roofed shack didn't scare us...said every kid that died in a horror movie in the 80's EVER.

I don’t think a lot of people knew where that trail was but you could clearly see the top of the waterfall from the road, that was good enough for us so we knew we had to go. 

It was completely worth it.  The falls were huge and beautiful, like most of them in Hawaii to be fair.  

I tried to climb up a little higher so I could be in between both of the falls but then ultimately decided that my bare feet didn't have enough traction in the mud to avoid slipping and falling onto the rocks below.  There just wasn't a lot of room for error, so we made our way back and hopped in the car.  

My defeated climb down

Well, as in all the humans hopped back in the car, Jackie’s phone chose not to make the trip.

We didn’t know it at the time obviously.  We didn’t find out until about 30 minutes later after we had stopped for lunch and was on our way to the “Bamboo Forest”.  It had fallen out of the car door but lucky for her, someone happened to pick it up on the side of the road.  We couldn’t have been more far apart from the good semaritans, they were heading in the opposite direction.

They were going all the way to the “Seven Sacred” and we weren’t about to backtrack because we were almost at the beginning of the road, but lucky for us J.R. had just enough service to make a plan to meet them at the pizza place “Flatbreads” in Paia after we dropped off Kat & J.R. at the airport. 

We continued on to our final stop.  The “Bamboo Forest”, which is one of the most intense trails I’ve been on, anywhere.  It really might not have been that crazy if I wouldn't have went barefoot again but I had heard a little about the trail and thought that since I had been doing it all day already and we were going to swim from some parts to others that I might as well (and…I’m a badass…).

The journey

(Editor’s note: Jackie put on her specific hiking sandals for this one, everyone else was in trainers.  Just sayin’....not a lot of sh** talkin' anymore...I silenced all of that!)

We were probably gone for an hour, it felt like an eternity.  One of Jackie’s local friends had shown her the way to the “secret falls” and there were several different trails to go on.  So luckily she knew the way (sort of).  I say "knew", what I mean is, walk a little this way, walk a little that way and then back.  Again, this is just ramblings of a bitter barefoot buffoon.  It was more barefoot walking then necessary...of course that could have been the summary of my day to that point as well.

We started out going through the forest of Bamboo (for name sake) and ended up at a river with low tide.  What does low tide mean?  Lots of rocks for Adam’s new "Hawaiian summer feet".  That’s what.

I did however find a really sweet bamboo walking stick (Tony!) at the end of the forest that I now look back and know was left there just for me.  I was going to need it, I just didn’t know how much.

I was by myself most of the trail.  Following footprints and hearing voices (not in my head) to find my way, it took me longer to make my way through the trail because of the fact that my feet did not agree with the terrain on several occasions.

It was like “Indiana Jones” meets “Tomb Raider” because when you’re barefoot, you have to find the right rock, your foot has to be placed on the right point.  You have to map your way through and use the walking stick to alleviate some of the force.  I was using the stick as a prop in some places, as a tester in others.  

In "The Last Crusade", if Indiana didn't choose the right spot, he fell to his death...this was similar to my journey in many ways that don't include death.  

But great pain was to be had if there was a poor choice!

Testing water levels, slickness, strength.  I felt like an actual woodsman or some kind of caveman.  Considering I was already half-naked, covered in mud, and sweating profusely.  I could have been, I was yelling like one at least.  It was great!

The trail just kept getting more interesting the further we went.  There were many spots on the journey which was "do this, or turn around" because there was no other way to the other side.  Very do or die...which I enjoyed.

There were three separate areas where there were ropes to climb.  Which you had a choice to either pull your way up to the next level or go home.  One even had a ladder, but it was again more difficult for me because I didn’t have any traction on the mud and slick rocks so a lot of it was upper body strength and of course, my bamboo stick.

Which I could have left and made it easier, but he had become a necessity for me.  We were on this trip together.  

The bamboo stick and I had become quite fond of each other and I began talking to him through my journey, I was determined not to leave him behind.  All of my friends had went ahead with their "awesome shoes", great luxuries on this day!  

He did try to get away from me a couple of times but that’s because he was a silly bamboo stick and didn’t know his place in our hierarchy just yet.

Again, I was alone most of the time so I needed some companionship for such an awesome adventure and I felt like he might know what I was going through.

There were also two other of my favorite occasions where we needed to jump off waterfalls to keep going.  This is where my bamboo buddy came in handy, for depth purposes.   It was so awesome, I had never done anything like this before. 

Maybe one or the other, but when your options are swim or go back, you swim, there’s no other way.

There’s no walking either, it’s too deep so there I was in the middle of a Hawaiian jungle doing the frog stroke with a bamboo stick in my mouth like a canine.  I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.  All I kept thinking was my next purchase would be a water-proof camera.  Oh yeah, that and try not to drown.  Also, I am fully aware that bamboo floats and it was unnecessary to have in my mouth while I swam, but I should point out that it was easier to swim and Tony kept trying to escape (maybe he didn't like me as much as I thought....Nah, that can't be true).

Unfortunately because of the intense terrains, I was unable to take my camera with me.  I need to get a waterproof one if I’m going to continue to be a great conquistador like this, I know that now.  This is one of the only pictures I got.>>>>>

Jackie wouldn’t let me bring the bamboo stick either!  I tried to convince her I could fit it in the car and she wasn’t having it, I think she was jealous of our newly formed bond.  He got me through some tough patches and I showed him the time of his life.

So we said our goodbyes on the road that day.  I left him there in plain view, so that maybe the next person in need of a guide can find him.  He will truly be missed the next time I go hiking but I go on knowing that somewhere out there is some unsuspecting tourist that needs more guidance than I do.

We made our way back to Paia and had dinner.  Then we took Kat & J.R. to the airport and said our goodbyes and we finally realized why the car was so slam packed.  Kat had about four bags and 13 miscellaneous items that they needed to re-pack before their flight.  It was all coming together. 

So now that we had some room in the car to breathe, we headed straight back to Paia to get Jackie’s phone.

The plan was to get the phone at the hostess stand but Jackie wanted to find the nice people who helped her and buy them a drink for their trouble but they had already left.  So we decided to have that drink for ourselves.

We grabbed some beers and sat down at the bar and just recapped the day.  We were just talking about nonsense, naturally; as I usually tend to do when I’m around other people, especially friends who can handle my sense of humor.

As we were about to leave, I looked over and close by where we were sitting was Owen Wilson.  He wasn’t at the bar with us but he was at the next table over.  He was in a black baseball cap having a chat with some random couple.

I’m not the type to get up-in-arms about celebrities so I just passed through and we went back to Jackie’s house.

Celebrities are people too and I feel like they don’t want to be bothered (I know I wouldn't, not all the time at least).  I treat them as I would want to be treated if I were a celebrity.  

I’ve never been too star struck around them, I don’t see the point in autographs and pictures are cool but like I said, to what purpose?

He was wearing a hat and obviously trying to hide his face a little.  He lives here in Maui apparently, it’s his turf and I’m not going to go butt-in on his conversation and ruin his dinner for one photo that I can show my friends.  That’s pretty rude in my book.

It was still a great first 2 day start in my trip to Maui.  Fun times, great tour guide and full of surprises, doesn’t get much better than that.  

Seven Sacred, leads into the ocean

Having a swim

Blacksand Beach

Raaawwwrrrr!